At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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