he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
