my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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