There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i already hear my dad disowning me
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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