oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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