Having a random hookup so left but love u
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
