he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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