are you so shy because you have an std?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
