I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
