; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Be still, my beating vagina.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
