im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
