Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
