I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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