So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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