The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Randomize
