My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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