So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Can you bring me the toilet please
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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