btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
