I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize