Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
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