I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize
