when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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