By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Randomize
