i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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