I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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