I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize