Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
