he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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