Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
