i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I am available for nakedness
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
