pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
