we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
