so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
