New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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