its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
