You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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