I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
