don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
