vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
