so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
