is wine microwaveable?
should my penis look like a turkey
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
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