i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize