I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
