If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize