Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
