she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Randomize
