I seem to have left my pride at pride
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
