I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
