So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I deserve to be covered in dicks
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Randomize