Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
