WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
