you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
