I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I am available for nakedness
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
