the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
