So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
