I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
i love accidental penises.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
