ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
