Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize