okay pat passed out under dana's car
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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