Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
