weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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