The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
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