Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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