i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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