I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize