Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
