Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
