"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
