I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize