haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
