Im at strip club and am horny
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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