your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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