i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
