That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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